Been meaning to blog and have quite a few thoughts in my head that I figured I best write down and commit them onto the blog for prosperity.

One of the things on the forefront of my cranial musings is of course the impending marriage to my soul mate. With that comes the pressing matter of securing our new flat from which we can build our new home together. Many people have asked me to hold off buying a flat for now while the “prices are sky high and seem to go higher every day with human greed fueling the seller’s market. And while waiting for the market to stabilize, I could stay with my parents who would be more than happy to have me and Evon around.”

I fully appreciate the wisdom behind such statements and understand that a new HDB flat, or property of any kind, is not a something you rush into without careful consideration. I’m also very sure my parents would love to continue having me around the house and would welcome Evon into the fold with open arms.

I understand I’m in this situation because in our uniquely Singapore housing system, one commits to a flat before one commits to his/her spouse if you intend to buy ‘cheap’ new flats. While buying property is a serious matter and shouldn’t be rushed into without due consideration, I sincerely believe marriage is a bigger decision than buying property. And I sure took my time in making this decision. (about a year I think)

On hindsight, if I had taken less time coming to a decision to marry Evon, we would have more time to shop around for a flat. However, I also think that if we did not take those years to work through our heart issues with God, we would not have grown in our faith, maturing emotionally and spiritually. I much prefer the latter as I’m sure you’ll understand.

In our unique housing system, there are two options open to us. One on hand, you have the ‘Build To Order’ (BTO) flats which are new flats that you buy and then wait 3-4 years before you move into them. On the other hand, you have resale flats which you buy and immediately ‘own.’ (Of course, nobody actually owns HDB flats but that is another matter altogether.)

Because we don’t wish to wait another 3-4 years before we get married, the only option left to me and Evon is to hunt for flats on the resale market. Oh yes there is the option of staying with my folks while we wait for the BTO flat to be ready OR while we wait for the resale market to stabilize but it really isn’t an option for the both of us.

It isn’t an option because of our conviction which comes from God’s Word.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. – Genesis 2:24.

We believe that the first few years of a marriage are critical and that they lay the foundation for a Christ-centered marriage. It is essential that we adhere to biblical principle and ‘leave the nest’ and establish our own family unit. This doesn’t mean we don’t value our parents or don’t respect them when we choose to live on our own. I value their input and contribution into my life and they will continue to have their input and contribution into the new family unit I will form with my wife.

I do realize that with aging parents, there will come a time when they won’t be able to take care of themselves. When the time comes, I will welcome them into my home with open arms. But therein lies the critical difference — the fact that they’ll be coming into MY home, where I am the head of the household, where I lead.